Here I am again. Falling off the wagon. I have not been able to get back on track since before Christmas. I have made nothing but bad choices. I need to have a good long talk with myself and figure out what I really want. Sounds silly, but it's true. This is all on me. Nobody else. WW is all about finding your "why" and committing to it. Set small, attainable goals.

Why...I want to have control over what I eat. I want to live a healthy lifestyle, which means eating the right foods, and knowing when to say I've had enough.

Weekly Goals
Goal 1 - Today is May 10. I want to lose at least 10 lbs by the end of the month.
Goal 2 - I will exercise at least 20 minutes 3 times per week.
Goal 3 - Start a gratitude/positivity journal and write in it daily.
Goal 4 - Try one new recipe.

These seem like lofty goals to me right now, but I know I am capable of acheiving them!

Gratitude/Positive Thought for the Day
It's not about perfect. It's about effort, and when you bring tha…


The holidays are over, and I did not handle it well at all. It's like I didn't use any of the tools I have learned. So, I am recommtting to the program. I have once again self-sabotaged myself. The weight comes off so slowly, and takes great committment, but putting it back on happens quickly and mindlessly. I have binged and eaten everything under the sun. Why? I think because I made the choice that since it was the holidays, and I knew I would be off program, I might as well eat whatever I want. Typical "diet" attitude. You'd think I would know this. Ugh.

Brushing this off. My word for January is MINDFUL. I will be mindful of everything that I eat. I will ask myself if I am really hungry. If I am, I will make good choices. I want to remember this feeling. I feel constantly bloated. I feel achy. I feel out-of-control. I don't like this feeling.

This month, I will track everything...good and bad. I will move at least 3 days a week, and I will limit my soda in…

WW Freestyle - Clean Slate

I am no beginner to this program. I know what needs to be done. I want a healthier me. Lately, I feel like I am a little off course. I tell myself that I am just figuring out path. I have been maintaining and losing for most of the 8 months I have been doing WW. Why then, am I questioning myself? Part of me thinks that the weight should be coming off much faster. I need to stick to the program. The other part of me thinks that I just need to chill. Figure out my triggers and learn from it. There is no timeline this time. 
That being said, I feel like I am falling back into bad habits. Not terrible, just not good. I need to refocus and get back to basics. I think I will stick around after the meeting and listen to the newbie stuff. I need to get centered on the program again. I know what I need to do, and I know that I can get it done. I have to stop beating myself up. I have to reign in the eating. Start the self-talk. Find my "why". Small goals. Hitting 50 by the end of the…

WW Freestyle - It's All About the Mindset

If I have learned anything in the last 6 months, it's that it is so important to be in the right mindset. You have to want to do this. If you don't, you won't succeed. I have also learned that the want is all up to me. I don't have to report my success or struggles to anyone. They are mine to deal with. I don't really discuss the program with anyone, unless they ask. I don't go looking for compliments. That's not what this is about this time. I am not on a schedule, there is no timeline to follow. This is me, learning to live a healthier life...figuring out what works and doesn't work for me.

I am so close to the 50lb mark. So close. But, I have yet to get there, and I know the reason why. I am enjoying life. I had a girls retreat this past weekend. I know I don't make the best decisions during those weekends and I am ok with that. I am back on program this week. This coming weekend is our last camping trip of the year. It's a big deal, and ther…

WW Freestyle - Levels of Learning

When I joined Weight Watchers again, I will admit I was a little scared. Having done this once with great success, only to fall back to where I started, was a little daunting. I wasn't sure I could do it again. I realized before my first meeting that I had to let the past go. I had to stop trying to figure out why I gained all of what I lost back. It wasn't helping me at all. So, I cleared my head and dove in. It was comforting to see my old leader was still there. I had a great relationship with her in the past, and I trust her.

I sat through the meeting, and after the meeting was the "new member" information. I couldn't wrap my head around this new program. There wasn't much weighing and measuring. How are you supposed to know if you are eating too much or not enough. The first few weeks were all about learning and listening to my body. Learning to listen to your body is a huge part of this program. It's not something that can be learned in a week, as I…

WW Freestyle - Revelation

I had a bit of an epiphany last week. I am the child of an alcoholic. My father was an alcoholic, his father was an alcoholic. My father was a wonderful man, and I am proud to say he kicked his addiction. He was sober for 20 years. He passed away 8 years ago, and I miss him every single day. He is, to this day, the voice in my head.

I always was aware of his addiction, and feared it most of my life. What if that happened to me? Is this genetic? Could be. That is always in the back of my mind. It occured to me last week, that maybe this did happen to me. The difference is, my addiction is not alcohol, it's food. I have been heavy most of my life. I always found comfort in food. If I was sad, food would make me happy. If I was lonely, food would always be there for me. It became addictive. My husband would leave for a weekend, and the first thing I thought of was "what can I eat this weekend, since he won't be here". I would eat anything and everything. I look back at …

Weight Watcher Freestyle - Love!

I re-started my journey on February 26, 2018. Weight Watchers had a pretty good deal going so I decided it was time to give it another try. I am no stranger to WW. Ten years ago I did WW and was very successful. I lost 90lbs in about a year. I was 10 pounds from my goal weight, and somehow I lost focus or got burnt out, and have since gained it all back. For the past 10 years I have tried to lose weight and have had some success, but always gained it back. I have tried to figure out what it was that I did to fail. I beat myself up on the regular about it.

Fast forward to February 2018. I had gotten an email from WW about a pretty great deal if you joined, so I's time, and I signed up. I went to my first meeting and it went well. My leader was the same one I had 10 years ago, which was good. She remembered me and welcomed me back. I sat through the meeting and then through the new member information session. I am not going to lie, I was a little nervous about this new …