Tuesday, May 22, 2018

WW Freestyle - Revelation

I had a bit of an epiphany last week. I am the child of an alcoholic. My father was an alcoholic, his father was an alcoholic. My father was a wonderful man, and I am proud to say he kicked his addiction. He was sober for 20 years. He passed away 8 years ago, and I miss him every single day. He is, to this day, the voice in my head.

I always was aware of his addiction, and feared it most of my life. What if that happened to me? Is this genetic? Could be. That is always in the back of my mind. It occured to me last week, that maybe this did happen to me. The difference is, my addiction is not alcohol, it's food. I have been heavy most of my life. I always found comfort in food. If I was sad, food would make me happy. If I was lonely, food would always be there for me. It became addictive. My husband would leave for a weekend, and the first thing I thought of was "what can I eat this weekend, since he won't be here". I would eat anything and everything. I look back at this now, and I realize that food is my addiction. How do you break an addiction? Especially an addiction to food. You need to eat to survive. Alcohol you can live without...but food?

This time my WW journey is more about the "why". I am really thinking about where I want to be, how I am going to get there, and what will happen once I do. Right now I am doing great. I have only had one gain in 3 months, and that was kind of on purpose. What happens when things start to slow down. I have about 70 more pounds to lose. Things are going to slow down. I want to know that I have changed my behaviors enough that once that happens, I will push through and succeed. This is my life.

#weightwatchersfreestyle #weightlossjourney #inthisforlife

Monday, May 14, 2018

Weight Watcher Freestyle - Love!

I re-started my journey on February 26, 2018. Weight Watchers had a pretty good deal going so I decided it was time to give it another try. I am no stranger to WW. Ten years ago I did WW and was very successful. I lost 90lbs in about a year. I was 10 pounds from my goal weight, and somehow I lost focus or got burnt out, and have since gained it all back. For the past 10 years I have tried to lose weight and have had some success, but always gained it back. I have tried to figure out what it was that I did to fail. I beat myself up on the regular about it.

Fast forward to February 2018. I had gotten an email from WW about a pretty great deal if you joined, so I thought...it's time, and I signed up. I went to my first meeting and it went well. My leader was the same one I had 10 years ago, which was good. She remembered me and welcomed me back. I sat through the meeting and then through the new member information session. I am not going to lie, I was a little nervous about this new Freestyle program. 10 years ago you had to weigh and measure everything...now, you eat until you are satisfied. Eeek! How do you know what that means? There are a lot of foods that are free - low-fat proteins, vegetables, fruits, etc. These had no weights, no size, nothing. How does this work?

The first week was mostly trial and error. I was hungry, didn't know if I was eating too much...not enough...it was a learning experience. I lost 6 pounds. It took me a few weeks to really feel like I figured things out. I have been doing great ever since. What I like about this program is that I feel like I am free to eat whatever I want. I can go out to eat. I am learning that I don't have to eat everything on the plate. I try to eat 1/2 and take the other 1/2 home. Sometimes, I do want to eat it all and I do. When that happens, I know I have to adjust what I eat for the rest of the week and maybe do an extra workout or two.

I am not looking at this as merely losing the weight this time. This will be how I eat and react for the rest of my life. I don't want to repeat history. The "whys" are more important this time around. If I go off track, it's ok. Let it go...get back on...and move forward. Plain and simple. I want to live my life and not deprive myself. If I gain a pound or two, it's ok. I can work it off going forward.

If you are on the fence about joining...my advice is to give it a good try. Play with the program for a couple of weeks. You will find your groove and you will succeed.

I am about 3 months in and I am a pound away from 30lbs total! I haven't deprived myself of one thing and I feel great! I've got this!

#weightwatchersfreestyle #weightlossjourney #inthisforlife

Monday, March 7, 2016

A Simple Exercise to Defeat Cravings

Found this on the WW Blogs. Posting it here so I can reference it! 

A Simple Exercise to Defeat Cravings

Have you ever noticed how cravings just seem to pop up in our minds, unbidden? One second we're fine and the next second we have a strong desire to eat unplanned food. Sometimes cravings just nag at us; other times they feel overwhelming. Managing cravings can be difficult! Sometimes they manage me, as in my recent Chocolate Easter Bunny Debacle (previous blog entry)! I've been using the following simple mindfulness exercise when cravings strike. I'm excited about the success I've had (not 100% but increasing). Please don't be put off by the length of this blog entry: It takes WAY more time to read through these steps than to actually do them, especially if you practice. At first, it might feel slow and cumbersome. With practice, this exercise takes mere seconds. If you think it's worth a shot, give it a try & keep practicing. It is based on the mindfulness concept that our thoughts are fleeting; they are not static or engraved in concrete. Learning to recognize, evaluate and manage them is a powerful way to connect with ourselves and create more peace in our lives.
1. Identify Specific Thoughts & Feelings when Cravings Strike
"I really crave that right now! It'll taste so good! It will distract me from feeling [fill in the blank – exhausted, bored, stressed, restless, sad, angry, empty]. WW (or work, life, etc.) is hard – I deserve a break! Just this once....”
2. Evaluate Those Thoughts
Essentially I try to step back and honestly consider what I am telling myself. "I'm thinking about indulging in unplanned food. The more I dwell on these thoughts, the more I want to give in. These thoughts are unproductive. I don't want to sabotage myself with these unproductive thoughts.”
3. Release Unproductive Thoughts
Tell yourself, “I'm letting these unproductive thoughts go.” I try to picture my thoughts as leaves being carried away in a stream. Or I picture my unproductive thoughts as birds that glide away across the sky. Images here can be powerful.
4. Substitute Positive Self-Talk
This one is tricky because it must be something that is true, and it must resonate. These are some of the things I say to myself, depending on the situation. “I am proud of myself for resisting. I'm not hungry. I want to be slim and fit more than I want to indulge. I am learning to make healthier food choices.” Say whatever resonates with you.
5. Celebrate the Awesomeness of You!
There is nothin' wrong with feeling proud – smug, even – about successfully negotiating a craving! It is a triumph to choose what we want MOST (health, weight loss, feeling good) over what we want NOW (sugar, fat, temporary pleasure / numbness / distraction).
Here's to all of us finding ways to manage our cravings and lead healthier lives.

Losing the Battle

As I sit here, I feel the tightness of my pants on my waist. My weight is slowly creeping back, and I don't like it. Time to get serious. I went to a store with my husband, who was looking to buy some jeans. Well, while he was trying on clothes, I was browsing. Everything I touched, or looked at brought about an emotion...and not a good one. Clothes shopping is hard if you are overweight. Really hard. I have to mentally prepare myself to go clothes shopping. I am not a very "trendy" clothes type of person, but to find clothes that flatter a short overweight woman is not easy. There were so many things in this store that I would have worn...had I not been overweight. 

I remember a few years back when I lost 90lbs, that feeling that came over me when I could shop in a normal people store. I was elated. I could try on anything. No 1X, 2X, or 3X...just regular sizes. You would have thought that that feeling would stop me from ever gaining a pound. Well, it didn't, and here I am. I WANT to feel that again. I do. I just need to figure out what is going on inside my head that is stopping me from getting this done. 

I am feeling pretty focused today. This week I am going to work on finding my routine...tracking, exercise, keeping busy. 

I was reading an article over the weekend and it mentioned an app that helps you track your water, so I downloaded it. It's called Plant Nanny. It's kind of fun. When you log your water in the app, a cute little plant grows. Kind of fun! I also downloaded an app that compliments me called I Am. It is in the App Store. I can't find a link to it, but it looks like this...

 You can set up this app to send you a notification several times a day to tell you something positive. Just started using it today as well. Will keep you posted on whether it helps or not! 

Here's to finding my routine and my focus. 

Goals this week:
* Track
* Exercise at least 3-4 days
* Keep busy
* Make good choices...no excuses!

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

The Big 5-0!

Well, the day has finally arrived. I still haven't totally come to grips with this number yet. I got my AARP application a month ago, and I haven't even opened it. I am in denial yet. How can this be? I don't feel that old. I am one of those young-at-heart kinds of people. I see that number and I stop and think about what it really is...
...I have lived over half of my life
...I will, hopefully be retired in a little under 20 years - Yikes!
...my daughter will be 21 in September...21! Ugh!
...my parents are only getting older (I have already lost my dad)

It's these milestone birthdays that always make me a little depressed. I was ok with 40, but 50...it just makes me feel like the end is closer than I realize. Scary.

I watched a video on Facebook the other day - http://aplus.com/a/clean-slate-blackboard-experiment?c=7434&utm_campaign=i102&utm_source=a92158 - it was about regrets. I have so many...and many are deep. I know that some of these are what hold me back. I just haven't found a way to wipe the slate clean. It seems easy...but it really isn't.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016


It is time to sit down and re-evaluate where I am and what I want. I am struggling to find my focus again. I am not giving up. I am not happy with the weight I am at, and I need to get my head in the game and continue forward in this journey.

I am finding it difficult to get into a routine. I think that is key for me. Last Spring I had a routine, and I was doing great. Once my routine was thrown off, I lost it. 

Friday, January 8, 2016

Struggling with Motivation

Like most of us on this journey, finding motivation is one of the hardest things to do. My motivation comes in ebbs and flows...sometimes I've got it, to the point of obsession....and other times I don't. I think that is part of learning what works and doesn't work. I am never going to be perfect, I know that. I don't really want to be. What fun is that? I do, however, want to find something that works for me. I follow a website called Greatist. They have a lot of good articles. I am going to share one with you today....The Science-Backed Way to Keep Any New Year's Resolution

While I am not a believer in New Year's resolutions, there are some great tips in this article on how to pick a goal and stick with it. Let me know what you think, and what is one goal that you have for 2016? My goal is to lose about 50lbs. I know I have it in me to do it, and I will succeed!